Mommy mommy jokes!

(1) Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men?

Shut up and get back in the oven.





(2) Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?

Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!



(3)Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia.

Shut up son and keep swimming.



(4) Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma!

Shut up and keep digging!



(5) Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?

Shut up and flush.




(6) Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim!

Shut up or I'll flush it again!



(7) Mommy, Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down here.

Shut up or I'll flush it again.




(8) Mommy, Mommy! I hate tomato juice!

Shut up and drink it before it clots.




(9) Mommy, Mommy! What's a vampire?

Shut up and eat your soup before it clots.




(10) Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup!

Shut up, we only have it once a month.





(11) Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!

Shut up and get away from the dart board!





(12) Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?

Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.




(13) Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we give Dad a decent burial?

Shut up and keep flushing.




(14) Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!

Shut up and get the marshmallows!




(15) Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire!

Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!




(16)Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers!

Shut up and eat your french fries!



(17)Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?

Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.






(18) Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a long nose?

You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.





(19 Mommy, Mommy! I like my brother very much.

All right, you can take another slice.



(20) "Come upstairs, son, like a good boy."

"No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again."