Jokes for today...Hope it will brighten up your day!

An arab national interviewed at USA Embrassy :

Consul : Your name please..

Arab : Abdul Aziz

Consul : Sex?

Arab : 3 times a day..

Consul : I mean, male or female...

Arab : Both male and female. sometimes even with camel..

Consul : HOLY COW!

Arab : Yes...cows and dogs too..

Consul : Man, isn't that hostile?

Arab : Horse style, dog style any style!!

Consul : OH DEAR~!

Arah : deer?? no deer...They run too fast..hmmm~






SON OF THE BITCH!

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!"





Goblins


One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies.
"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"?







Joke from kenneth LO! haha!

A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce..

She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian and yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."




Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the
SEX EDUCATION".
Class Teacher: " Why not?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be
ORAL!





Mother asks daughter, how is married life?
Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS.
Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked. It says
"7 DAYS A WEEK, TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!"




Man to wife: Business is bad, if you learn how

to cook we can remove servant.
Wife: ASSHOLE! If you learn how to @**k, we can remove
driver, gardener & watchman..






What's the difference between stress,
tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend
is pregnant,
PANIC is when both are pregnant!